OPEN HOUSE DREAMING

OPEN HOUSE DREAMING
By Ruth Parker            

I sit very comfortably on the oversized leather sofa of my listing. The owner has put jazz on the radio (or is it a cd?) and lit the little flickering candles all over the house. I don’t take my boots off because, any minute now, some eager buyers are going to come to the door and ask to come in to see this house they have had their eye on since the beginning. It is important that I don’t show the vegetative state of relaxation I am sliding into just one second before they come.

In my imagination, the doorbell does ring and a young couple, probably newlyweds, come in with a look of awe on their faces. No sooner had this couple come in but another knock came on the door from another man who can’t wait to see this home… I smile as I see the imaginary couple go up the turned staircase and find the spectacular bedroom at the top of the stairs that would be perfect for a nursery. While they are ooing and ahhing up there, the other buyer is exclaiming about the woodwork shop in the basement and how it is so much more spacious than he expected from the outside. Both are giving me all their contact information and asking me if I will help them make an offer. “Tomorrow afternoon” the man says. “ Today, now!” the young couple says enthusiastically. I sweetly excuse myself from their combat to let another looker in the door…ahhhh, a recent graduate from the local swanky college. This young man will probably pay cash, I think. Not sure whether it is the Benz parked in the driveway or the bills hanging out of his pockets that give me that idea. He does a quick sweep of the house while the couple in the kitchen yells out things to dissuade him from liking their new house. They say, “Oh my, I think the roof leaks!!” and other untrue things like that. I feel like a canary with the silly smile of bliss on my face. Wait, have I ever seen a canary smile?

I sit down on the soft leather sofa in my ruminating state and contemplate how I am going to solve the issue of all three buyers making offers with me being their dual agent, because of course, in my relaxed fantasy, none of them have a buyer’s agent to represent them. All three are willing to pay whatever it takes, one outbidding the other noisily like at a cattle auction. As I lean forward to peek into the kitchen to see if things are getting out of hand, I lean a bit too far forward and my laptop, which has been hibernating on my lap, falls with a crash onto the floor. The crash wakes me and my laptop up and I realize sadly that only one hour has gone by in the three hour open house. The only noise coming from the kitchen is the ice cube maker in the refrigerator. The little candle still flickers on the shelf next to the pile of fresh flyers I printed out for all the lookers, just last night. The jazz still plays lightly on the stereo in its very un-syncopated way and I realize….. I am dreaming.

I pick up my laptop, and begin writing a fantasy about an Open House Dream. Will it be a waste of time? Only if no one comes!!